Borderline personality disorder appeared suddenly at 23. I quit everything, moved out, spent all my savings, and then my personality fractured. For 2 months, I was one of three people: an artist named Needles, his tortured muse named White Eyes, or something else. There was a lot of self harm, and the hospital only made it worse. I can’t even say what month I went in, but it was 2025. The personalities are gone now, but now I seldom recognize myself when I look in the mirror. I like it this way; being hard to know carries with it unstable relationship patterns. This is the greatest way to alleviate pain in my life, yet I sincerely apologize to those I have ended contact with. Fortunately, my personality has somewhat stabalized now that I am identifying as non-binary. The breaks have shortened and occur infrequently. When they do occur, I put it into an unreleased art project called gotosleep.

Q: So your disorder is your whole personality? Real original..

A: No, you just dont know me yet ;D

So if you’d rather work with me, amazing! Yes! My antisocial tendencies means I have more time to spend on music. Read my professional bio here.

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Music that speaks to me:
“Enough” by Little Simz (song)
“Follow the Light” by Broadcast (song)
“With God on Our Side” by Bob Dylan (song)
“To Ramona” by Bob Dylan (song)
Red Burns by Standing on the Corner (album)
“Blues” by Geordie Greep (song)
“Stranger to Yourself” by Loving (song)
“The Sun” by The Microphones (song)
“Ocean Song” by Daughters (song)
The Sinking of the Titanic by Gavin Bryars (album)

My heart goes out to anyone else who struggles with self-destruction. I’m sorry.